I talked with my housemate (the wealthy religious hypocrite) the other day and told him we needed to clear the atmosphere on our issues with each other. I eventually learned that he honed no ill feelings towards me but considered himself anti-social like myself. For whatever reason, he didn't qualify his reasons for hanging out with my roommate more besides the fact that he's known him for longer and that my roommate "just doesn't care."
I brought up their former roommate who they shunned for the last two quarters of school last year (their former roommate, a friend of mine brought it to my attention when we went out for dinners sometimes and I was able to resolve part of the issue). My housemate said he had nothing to do with anything and that I was no comparable to him, which I guess is a good thing. The only problem, I pointed out is that while I don't need to grab groceries as often as they do, it would've been a nice gesture for them to invite me. The housemate admitted that he asked my roommate to go on a hike with him (with the roommate declining, he is what most would call a home gamer). Funny thing is, I would've been available and would've probably gone too. I've come to a conclusion that my housemate just doesn't think at all (he admitted that he had a short attention span which was the reason behind him taking so long to replace the tools of mine he'd broken).
In the end, he denied various things I suggested (Like understanding that despite having lived alone for a long time, one needs to be open and aware of their surroundings when living with people). He kept making excuses, things like "Well, that's how I am so deal with it." I wasn't too surprised (he's a religious hypocrite-nut who ate off a silver platter most his life) but wow, are his future housemates in for a surprise when they get a load of this guy.
So yeah, in the end, I could care less if they ask me out to grab groceries. But when I'm in the room and overhear my housemate asking my roommate if there was anything he wanted from the 7-11 downstairs without regarding me, it feels like he's honing some sort of grudge against me, because like I said, they've played passive aggressive towards a friend of mine before and it really crushed his spirits especially when he wanted to make things up to them and end the year as friends.
They're keeping the apartment for the next year and I'm moving out. I'm dropping out of school and staying out for better or for worse. The social experience was unimpressive, the academics a bore, and lasting impressions poor at best. I don't wish them the best of luck, but I'm not going to wish them misery either. I just plan on parting ways as strangers and will discontinue any communication with them afterwards. I've always had a hard time making friends as both the outgoing persuasion and my usual loner persona. My problem? Maybe. I'm a hard ass and I don't yuck things up. I'd rather punch my friends in the face if I think they're being shitbags. But that's besides the point. I'm glad I can see reality in black and white and can choose my real friends accordingly. These guys aren't my real friends nor will they ever be. But 50 miles away in my hometown where where I spent the last years of my childhood, my three closest friends are waiting.
In my next blog post, I'll turn up the mood a bit by talking about the good connections I've made in college.
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