Fractured Space is Pretty Fun... and It's Free This Weekend

I'm not particularly a fan of space or strategy games but I was compelled to look for a decent multiplayer game for my friends and I as we expand our Youtube channel beyond Airsoft and Insurgenc, Unturned videos. I ended up in an unlikely position: downloading Fractured Space which I just now tried out. The tutorial is extremely well done as it goes over all your keybindings and the basic gist of the game thoroughly. You'll need to set aside some time to finish all three steps in one sitting.

From what I gather, Fractured Space is a MOBA but in its defense (I don't like MOBAs very much. The only one I've played is DOTA 2 which I dropped after 2 games) it employs rather unique features that other MOBAs I know of don't have including jump zones and 3 layers of dimensionality (as opposed to the flat 2D plane of games like League of Legends).

I haven't delved further into the game beyond the tutorial but already I'm hooked and for somene who doesn't play strategy games in general, that is a fat statement.

I've already contacted a few friends about it (of course they said they'd check it out and ultimately it never surfaced in their steam libraries) but I'll be the one having the last laugh when the free weekend ends and they'll have to pay the $10 for the base game which is not bad, but we're talking about friends who were really butthurt about missing the Left 4 Dead 2 free weekend a few years ago.

Don't say I didn't warn ya! (Couple of guys who replied but didn't download it)

Insurgency - The Beauty of a Photorealistic Shooter

This isn't a formal review or anything on Insurgency but I think our videos on Youtube speak for themselves when it comes to lauding the game for its incredible ultra-realistic gameplay and mechanics and its impressive graphics.

Here is a screenshot from a not yet released Insurgency video I am editing and there was this moment where I felt I could really reach out and touch the AK74 my character is holding. This is nothing like those shiny, plasticky Call of Duty weapons I had spent so many years toying with. I liken these beautiful gun models in Insurgency to my airsoft guns. They're so touch with their real-steel counterparts.

eXceed 2nd Vampire REX Steam F12 Screenshot Glitch

     Just reporting in to announce a staggering glitch with Steam's F12 screenshotting and eXceed 2nd. For those of you who don't know what eXceed is, it is a bullethell series. Personally, I would recommend eXceed 2nd to people who dislike bullethell games because it is absolutely phenomenal and a lot of fun.

     I grabbed about a dozen screenshots today. Unfortunately they come out like this:

 

     Like coming home from a vacation to realize all your photos were underexposed or no- that all the people in the photo are gone. Yep, for whatever reason, all the foreground art and the scoreboard and interface has DISAPPEARED in the screenshots! There's probably a workaround for it, but I won't bother since I can easily capture gameplay using OBS instead but wow is this my first time dealing with an issue as staggering as this with Steam's infallible screenshot system.

Youtube Not Allowing You To Monetize Your Video (MUST READ)

Lately, I've noticed that Youtube's been demonetizing a couple of my videos that were actually eligible for monetization when I uploaded them a few days prior.

Notice the crossed out $ signs on the right hand side.

Normally, if there is copyright content match, that would be explicitly stated on each of the rows but in this case, there is no indication of that. The video is still available world wide to the public.

From the actions tab at the top, I tried to monetize the video from there to no avail. Here are the results:

The only descriptor I am left with it "Cannot monetize or set usage policy" which comes in two parts:

     1. The obvious, I can't make money off of it (my own content!)
     2. I can't state licensing. Meaning it is by default set to Youtube's Standard License.

...but it doesn't tell me WHY I cannot monetize my videos.

I did some research on my own time and came across this page:
https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6162278?hl=en

Okay... now it becomes a little more clear why I can't monetize. There are five types of videos that cannot be monetized and I will relist them briefly here in my own words:

1. Sexual reference (even partial).
2. Ones that exhibit violence.
3. Ones with profanity and strong language.
4. Promotion of drugs.
5. Controversial topics (war, tragedy), even making a simple reference.

Right off the bat, I'm going to rule out #1. We don't sell with sex, not even in our thumbnails. Here's a fun fact: a lot of other people do and are making plenty of cash off their videos from click baiting. Youtube needs to crack down on that. #4 promotion of drugs. We don't promote drugs even if we have a member who is a user.

#2 is where we enter the gray area. What constitutes violence? Do violent games fall under this category? I should think not. Plenty of Youtubers make a living from playing violent M-rated games.

I think our video falls under #3 and #5. Let's focus on #3 for now. Think about all those Youtubers out there who swear in their videos, whose videos sell because of their harsh profanities. I'm talking about some of the most popular channels out there that net millions of dollars a year. #3 can't possibly be the reason unless we are believe that there are some double standards going on here.

Which leaves #5. Guilty as charged. We've been playing a game called Insurgency a lot lately on our channel and with the level of realism the game presents, HOW is it feasible that we don't sometimes make references to the wars raging right now?

 

Here is one of the videos in question. Yep, we make sly references to controversial topics:

Unfortunately policy is policy. Youtube isn't barring us from uploading the video, just making money off of it. In my opinion, that isn't really fair when you consider all the topics Youtube's left out of its policy. Deceptive videos? Click baits? How about 'social experiments' that disrupt public peace? What about videos depicting robbery or vandalism?

And we can't rule out all the videos out there that are monetizing off of copyright content without express written permission. I'm mostly talking about thumbnails that most anyone can take off the internet and use in their videos. Thumbnails sell, just like the cover of a book. It leaves an impression. No one wants to watch a video with a vague thumbnail. There's just not enough hours in a day.

I Took A Piss From My Balcony Tonight

Of all the crazy things I could've done tonight, this one really takes the cake.

Let me start from the beginning. At around 10:30pm, my pals MacMillan, Big Mac and I ended our 5 hours long Skype conversation. MacMillan had the day off but Big Mac joined us after he got off work at around 6:20pm, so naturally, MacMillan and I began by playing Insurgency and talking shit at 5.

Fast forward a few hours. It's 11 and I'm scrubbing down a kettle that I burned dry the other day. It was expensive and my mom bought it for me to replace the pot I had burned dry a few months ago. I remembered reading an article on boiling vinegar and dish soap in it. Well, I just got done boiling the dish soap water because I didn't have vinegar and looked in my fridge. I noticed a sliced lemon and a bag of apricots in the upper shelf and immediately became suspicious. My mom brought me some fruits among other foodstuffs the other week and somehow the lemon and apricots looks familiar. I was ready to accuse my housemate of stealing my food on top of all the other careless things he does like leaving dirty dishes to pile up (when I generously provided a sponge and dish soap) or destroying my baking pan last month.

Instead, I called up my mom and asked if she gave me a lemon last week. She told me to check my section of the fridge, one being the humidity shelves in the lower corner. I opened it and... oh. There were LIMES. Four of them. Somehow my brain had decided that a bag of apricots and a lone lemon were the limes I had received.

I also asked her about the kettle and she told me not to use it anymore in case any chemicals were released (and of course the free radical causing charred parts). I didn't want to believe and kept asking her if she was sure such a high quality and expensive kettle couldn't be saved. She told me not to leave the kitchen next time I was boiling water and I felt really ashamed because this wasn't the first time I destroyed a perfectly good piece of kitchenware.

Moments later, I poured myself a drink and walked out in the balcony. It oversees an overpass, so naturally, it was deafening out there. I still remember the day I moved in, my housemate said it'd be nice to take a smoke and clear our minds on the attic but once he realized how noisy it was, he jokingly remarked that it'd probably do more harm than good to be out there for too long.

Actual picture of the balcony after the piss.

It was dark and it was noisy. I watched a guy walk by on the overpass and the light above him goes out. He was bewildered for a moment before moving on. My urge to pee was getting the best of me and I felt so lost and depressed.

So I said "Fuck it, it's the zombie apocalypse." Anything goes.
And took a leak. I could see the plants below bathed in my golden showers. The smell of urea fills the air. Our balcony was the only one in the rise so people were clear of the stream.


At that moment I felt like I seriously had to take responsibility for my actions, that I needed to be fully conscious during every step of my life and that I need to be prescient with every mistake I make and learn never to repeat it twice. I acknowledged my mistake after the second time I spilled a drink on my laptop and fried the motherboard. I now keep my drinks on a lower level relative to my laptop, no exceptions. I just wish for someone who is so mindful of all his fuck ups that I don't act so careless and stupid half the time.

Fixing Framerate Drop in Exceed Gun Bullet Children

Lately, I reinstalled an old game I acquired a few years ago called eXceed - Gun Bullet Children which by the way, I do not recommend getting. I was greeted with a familiar sub-20 fps, low resolution and forced full screen. While I don't have a solution to the full screen issue (the game is so low res, it is better off played in windowed mode but unfortunately, there's no setting for that in the unmodified base game unlike its sequels). I was able to ail the framerate issue follow Shadow-san's guide.

This screenshot was shot post modification. Notice the framerate at the top left hand corner of the picture although this was the only screenshot I could grab during the session since F12 does not work, it doesn't really do how smooth the gameplay actually was after the modification. The framrate rose to a lofty 50 fps after the enemies started swarming in but was hit by mild lag. Makes me wonder how accurate that fps gauge really is.

After installing the Microsoft Application Compatibility Toolkit (the links can be found on the guide), my average framerate rose from 15 to just a little over 50. Not so much a miracle as it is the developer's poorly done job to optimize the game for newer machine.

Here's something cute I noticed on the game's store page. Notice the top left hand corner of the screen captures. About half of them are under 30 fps. It's not a very demanding game. Again, I wouldn't recommend buying it. Even after I made the modification to the game, I only played for about 20 minutes and managed to get to the stage 3 boss before I idled it to collect the card drops.

It's always frustrating when steam releases half-baked games, although this isn't the first time its occurred.

DON'T STOP TAKING YOUR PRESCRIPTION MEDS

Just stopping by with a little update on what's going on. First on myself, my sinus infection's back thanks to the fact that I stopped taking my meds shortly after it went away. Well shit, now I know why I was told to finish all the pills. So today has been pretty much uneventful since I took a three hour nap in the afternoon after picking up groceries.

Now on to the interesting part. My pals and I are restructuring our Youtube channel. It's been about a month since anything's been posted but the other day, we recorded some footage of us playing Insurgency.


Stop by if you like. Our content isn't for everyone. Our views and RPMs been going down the shitter lately so it'd be nice if we could pick up again. I have a couple more airsoft videos at the ready, but since my maid hard drives where I keep a collection of all our games is at my parents' house, we're just going to shift the name of the game to first person shooters like old times.

Use A PS3 Controller With Your PC

Lately I've been playing some triple A gaming titles on steam where simple keyboard and mouse input just don't seem to cut it. Back in the day, I was able to use a program called SCPserver to get a PS3 controller working (I'm a little too stingy to put down the $30-60 for an Xbox 360 or Xbone controller which is also cross compatible with PCs).

I ended up finding this fantastic Instructables Guide by bladez1992. I didn't follow the instructions explicitly because I did it once before on my own so I'll give you an overhead on my condensed version of the installation.

Here is me playing Fallout 3 on my PC using a PS# controller. Notice it is wired.

I am using Windows 8.1 so any restarts that the guide mentions are not required. If you are on any other version of Windows, you will need to download Xbox Controller Drivers from Microsoft's website(google it).

1. Install SCPserver following the link in the guide. You can also find it under my downloads page.

• You will need to download the latest version and the update.

2. Simply unzip the latest version archive into whichever directory you want.
3. Unzip the update into the same directory and overwrite anything else.
4. Navigate to the directory you saved in(folder) -> ScpServer -> bin -> launch ScpServer.exe.
5. Connect your PS3 controller to any USB port. You can launch any game at this point that supports a gaming controller and play away!

Note: You aren't able to pair your PS3 controller to your PC via bluetooth directly. You need to buy a bluetooth dongle.

And there you have it! A painless and free installation of SCP server that enables you to use your PS3 controller wired to your PC. You will have to launch SCP server every time you want to use your controller.

Steam Card Drops Without Playing The Game! Idle Master

This recent article from PC Gamer came to my attention recently. There's a software out there called Idle Master that runs through your steam library and imitates playtime to get all the game's card drops.


Here's an image from Idle Master's website where you can download the software.

Pretty neat idea for those of you download hundreds of games and don't play them! But for me with just over 50 games in my library, I think I'd rather just play them since I did pay for the bulk of them. Besides, cards are only worth a few cents. But with hundreds of games, you could literally net tens of dollars just farming these card drops.

The best part is Idle Master actually posted its source code for this software on a Github repository. Go open sourcing!

Regards,
Black Hat

Installing a Cool New Mouse Cursor!

I came across this mouse cursor theme today on deviantArt and figured I try it out. I use Windows 8.1's default cursor which I tend to lose when I move it across my external monitors. This theme is hard to miss. Here is a sample picture included inside the download file.

Here are the steps I took to installing it:
1. First visit Stamga's dA here.
2. Click the download link on the top right hand corner. You don't need to be logged in to dA to do this.
3. Unzip the file where ever you saved it to.
4. Right click the Install.inf and click 'Install' (These instructions are also included in the zipped archive)
5. If you are on Windows 8.1, click the windows icon on your keyboard (left of left-alt) and then type in "Mouse." Click the application 'Mouse' with a generic mouse icon.
6. Go to 'Pointers' tab and change it.

Done!

Optionally, you could go into Control Panel and under Hardware do the same thing.

It really is a nice mouse cursor and is hard to miss. Very modernistic and glassy. Good job to Stamga!
⬛

Enter The World Of 360 Video - The Future Of Capturing and Sharing Video!

Surprised that I'm learning about the Ricoh Theta S just now! The Theta S has two wide-angle lenses that simultaneously capture footage and connect it into a final product: a panoramic video that you can watch from all angles. It's like being able to turn your head inside a video and see every angle of the scenery. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the future of video shooting and of course, there are many improvements that can be made to it down the line. The best part is that it is also Youtube supported (in certain browsers like Chrome) meaning you can play back the video and users can interact with it!

Check out one of Ricoh's official demo videos I embedded below. You'll notice the quality of the video isn't great. This technology is young. Youtube compresses its flat videos already so imagine how demanding a 360 video is... and how large the files must be. It has much to be desired but we can look forward to sharper video in the future:




I discovered this camera from one of Techmoan's latest reviews on it. He demonstrates the camera and how to use it optimally brilliantly. Like he mentions in the video, the playback quality on Youtube is poor, so go ahead and watch the bits of him interacting with some footage he shot that he loads and plays directly on his computer. The quality of the panoramic video and stills is quite decent.






Finally, you can find the Ricoh Theta S on Amazon following this link for a little less than $350 as of today. Really neat camera in my opinion and worth the investment if you (like me) are into capturing everything around you. Don't forget to pick up a monopod!

Black Hat

So I Watched A Shitty Anime Called "Dakara Boku Wa G Ga Dekinai"

I think my respect for anime has been on the decline over the last three years, so watching Dakara Boku wa G ga Dekinai or So, I Can't Play H in English was just the frosting on the cake. I'm going to say from the start of the review that I watched all of Episode 1 and am dropping it.

The story as it appear,s is one of those typical [insert idiotic male character] + [insert flimsy story line about shinigami (death gods)] + [insert sexualized high school girls to sell shitty series]. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate ecchi, but decent ones are far and few between.

The main character, Ryosuke Kaga is a forgettable character with tendencies to think aloud. His father is dead, and his mother works abroad so he lives alone. He is also one of those typical high school pervert characters (Come on, do they really think every guy who watches this show is going to sympathize with that?) and coupled with his think-aloud personality if you could even go as far as to call it one, he manages to freak out girls at his school.

The only person tolerant of his scummy personality is the girl next door. Ryosuke is characterized as sensitive and caring as well, but immediately loses credibility with this scene when he bumps into a girl outside his house:

What a scumbag.

The next couple scenes are as follows:
1. Lisara sucks some sort of energy from Kyosuke who falls unconscious.
2. Lisara takes a shower (Shower scene)
3. Kyosuke eventually comes to and Lisara reveals she is a shinigami.
4. Fight scene with a shittily designed blob monster.

Lisara goes fully nude in one scene and generates a scythe and a flashy outfit out of nowhere. Like we haven't seen that a million times already. Kypsuke makes a cheap shot at humor by complaining about how she's tearing up his house and that his mother hasn't paid off the mortgage yet.

This one of the many [insert ecchi here] scene, another cheap shot to sell the series. Kyosuke comes to Lisara's rescue after the blob monster gratuitously tears up her clothing and ends up with two handfuls of funbags. Talk about sexual gratuity though. It's like I'm watching a porno that just won't get to the point. Or how about an episode of Jersey Shore?

Listen, I like my share of sex in anime as much as the next guy, but if I really wanted to get off, I think I'd just go watch a real hentai that doesn't pretend its some sort of innovative story about grim reaper girls, perverted high school boys and badass explosive fight scenes. Actually, this show doesn't think its one of those. It works off a "working idea" according to the studio Feel idiots in the drawing room who decided to adapt the light novel or manga into an anime. I am still feeling animosity towards them for butchering the second season of Oregairu one of my favorite underrated shows of all time.

At this point, I didn't really care how the fight wrapped up but in the wreckage of Kyosuke's house and in the rain, he and Lisara have a short confrontation. She explains to him that she was looking for some sort of one in a million genius who's energy she could take by making a contract with, blah blah blah.  The best part was when Lisara reveals that Kyosuke is going to die in three months. Although he probably won't because the series will turn out to have that underlying "let's go and change fate" themes.

The only character I like was Caesar the German Shepherd the most pointless character in the show because I don't tend to see a lot of dogs in ecchi, but again its obvious he was just another frill to the author. I also find it stupid that he couldn't have been named after something easier to pronounce because Kypsuke's girl-next-door friend pronounces his name as "Kaiser."

 

In the end, I can't recommend this atrocity of a show called "So I Can't Play H" which is a pretty stupid sounding name, but surprisingly fitting for such a poor sellout of a show (1/10 for story, 1/10 for characters), but if you are into a tit-fest with no direction in the story (essentially, a porno with no real sex scenes) then fire away.

I was pretty scathing in my review because I actually considered that the artwork was decent (7/10). I was thinking this entire time, 'poor animators and artists with their below average salaries who put considerable work into such a shoddy show!' 

I'm going to recommend a good ecchi because the direction of the story is clean and to the point and sets up a conflict that is unique because it doesn't try to use working ideas as a stepping stone. Go watch Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu if you haven't already.

Black Hat

I Looked In The Mirror Today And Saw White Hairs On My Unshaven Face

So I haven't been shaving lately. Incidentally, I haven't been flossing either. For those of you who are really tight-assed about personal hygiene, get over it. I'm one of the biggest hygiene freaks I know and there is a huge difference between flossing once a week and never flossing at all (my roommate and housemate don't believe in floss). That said, tonight was the first time where I found myself inches away, face to face with my mirror image. And then I noticed the hairs. I thought it was the glare of the light, but nope, I definitely have sprouted two strands of pure white hair. Akin to cat whiskers. I'm only 20 but damn do I feel old!

No pictures I'm afraid because of the low lighting in my apartment. Admittedly, my body's been under stress for two weeks now mainly because I caught a bad head cold for two weeks starting Christmas eve that ruined my holiday with family. And then there's the stress that comes with unemployment. I've been writing my book in the meantime and have a bit of writer's block setting in. I haven't written in weeks since finals last quarter through the beginning of the new year when I was still sick.

Anyhow, I've gotten over much of the stress (sore throat came back last night but otherwise, I'm healthy) and I'm patiently waiting to hear back from employers. Yes, I do plan on going back to school in the Spring and that's because I've actually reflected on how much I appreciated the struggle school has given me. Now that I'm on the other side where I don't have the weight of school or employment on my shoulders, my hobbies like drawing and writing seem... less significant. It's hard to explain but I relate school to an old nemesis and my creativity as a weapon of rebellion. Without an enemy to battle, my weapon has no use. Then all purpose is lost. That is why I've decided to suck it up and go back to school in the spring.

A wise man once told me that I shouldn't rush things. Like my book. Sure, I've been writing it for a couple of years now, but is it really imperative to publish before I graduate (I'm guessing I will be 22 or 23 by then)? Is it life-threatening to publish in my late twenties or even sometime in my thirties? I guess not. I feel old, but I could not be less immature. I really need to take things down a notch. So my life goals have changed all of a sudden and I'd be happy to walk off with a piece of paper called my Bachelor's of Science and go out into the world to look for a job.

I jumped the gun on my big plan for the rest of my life, on dropping out of school to pursue my passions. I thought I had a plan, but I ended up in a world of uncertainties. It all stems from missing out on a lot growing up. I was not likable in school. I let a lot of people walk all over me. I ended up hating the system. And in the end, I was the one who got hurt because I thought I could live outside of its rules.

When spring comes, I'm changing all of that. I'm going back to school and I'm going in with the same attitude I had in my freshman year when I dusted off my slate and said "Here's to new beginnings! This time, I'm not going to fuck up. I'm going to make up for those lost high school years. I'm going to reach for the top at the university. I'm going to kick academia's ass."

Black Hat

Airsoft Laws In California 2016 (Must Read!)

So I stumbled across this article on the new SB-199 bill that passed. I am well aware of the bill and its terms, but I liked the picture Popular Airsoft included since it depicts where coloring should be applied in compliance with the law well:

Now in the case of the rifle, you only need two of: stock, grip, magazine. The sample rifle in the picture show all three colored for reference.

A lot of people have been asking under which circumstances should you need to tape up your guns. It is the same as the circumstances in which you should keep the orange tip on: during transportation, sale and probably some public airsoft fields. In the privacy of your own home or in a private field (away from view from public space) taking off the tape should be fine.

These measures taken are inane at best but scores of idiots have managed to have run-in with law enforcement because they openly carry their gun in public areas. Bottom line is: please don't ruin it any more for the rest of us. Carry it in a case when traveling through public space and don't throw away the orange tips. Keeping a roll of fluorescent tape around has been added to that list.

Oh and I actually taped two of my airsoft guns up with homemade gold tape for sport (although they rarely leave the house and have never been used in public fields). Both have their orange tips intact (not shown in picture). They are rifles so taping the grip, trigger guard and girth of the magazines is sufficient.

       Left: Custom Black Ops M4 Cobra with nylon fiber rails and stock taken from a Gameface rifle.                              Right: unmodified Elite Force M4

Remember kids, play responsibly.

Kind Regards,
Black Hat

All-In-One Gaming Computer!

I recently came across this link that Kotaku shared on Maingear's Alpha 34, a line of all-in-one gaming PCs.

Funny thing because not long ago, I was on the throne looking for a cheap all-in-one PC for my mom when I stumbled across all-in-one PC frames for DIY builds. I mean, how cool is it that you can have the performance of a desktop PC and still be able to carry it around because all the hardware and the screen share the same chassis?

So yeah, while Maingear's machine starts at a hefty price of $1999 (I decided to forgo building a new computer this winter because I am out of school and out of employment right now) I think its devilishly sweet that its built into an ultra-wide 34" screen. I can see more all-in-one PCs popping up in the future of gaming. Seriously, I'm jealous that kids will be totin' their gaming rigs to school someday.

Opaque Glass That Can Be Switched On And Off!

Here's a neat video Interesting Engineering shared on Facebook demonstrating SmartTint, an adhesive layer that can be switched on and off to make glass go from clear to opaque! Damn I love technology and what the future holds.

Nep-Nep Gif Of The Day

I often find tons of cool shit on Facebook that I have few if not no one to share them with. So enjoy this awesome Gif I found while perusing my feed.

 God, I have never used the word 'Nep-Nep' for anything before. For the record I do own Hyperdimension Neptunia Rebirth 1 on Steam. Have I played it yet? Nope. Want to though. Maybe someday- !

Regards,
Black Hat

And The Award For Slowest Lines In the World Goes To...

...if you thought I was going to say Disneyland, well, fair enough, but Kmart comes in at a close second. Goddamn. I stopped by one today to pick up a new baking sheet (after a housemate nerfed my old one about four weeks ago) and new sponges (the people I live with in my apartment are absolute animals. They've completely trashed the old sponge among other things I've tried to 'share' with them). But the worst part about the trip has got to the be the lines. I actually applied for a job (jobless and out of school right now) and was required to go through a virtual orientation and clearly, the level of tolerance there is not as high as you'd expect.

 I was sort of appalled that there were only two checkout lines (and no '10 items or less' lines) and the lady at mine was holding up the line for a customer who had to run to the back of the store to pick something up. I mean fair enough, first come, first serve. But man is it inefficient. The store is almost always empty, probably less than a quarter of the maximum occupant number at a time and yet they can't seem to figure out how to move the lines faster. How about starting a '10 items or less' lane first and then maybe employing more clerks?

Anyhow, the rest of my day is looking like this: I'm going to attend an IEEE meeting at the local chapter (at my ex-university) because there's free food and because its nice to actually be able to attend organizations and clubs for once. I was so busy when I had classes that there was no way I was giving up any of my leisure time to clubs. Ironic isn't it?

And I will be novel-ing for the rest of the day. Like I said in an earlier post, I was all gung ho about dropping out for a quarter to pursue my creative interests, but now that I've arrived, I'm actually more stressed that its the beginning of a new year and I haven't heard back from a single employer and that I'm worried I won't be able to finish a draft of my first novel by the time I start school again.

Regards,
Black Hat

Assembling My First Steam Badge (Winter 2015 Sales Badge)

Pictures should say all!

Ended up getting a holly emote (:2015holly:), a Christmas themed background, a badge, and enough XP to get me to level 8.

A small animation before your cards disappear...

The "Carft Badge" button appeared after my order for Twinkle was filled!

Background and emote appear in inventory. Can be converted to gems and traded. Interesting.

My profile after application. Yay, I'm level 8! (Whatever that means.)

Regards,
Black Hat

Steam Winter 2015 Trading Cards Dilemma

So I'm debating whether or not I should spend the 15 cents to complete my card collection and earn a snazzy badge (my first actually in badge crafting) OR if I should sell the entire collection and bring in about 45 cents for my steam wallet.

So close!

Well, I have about 9 hours to decide as Steam is pulling all its holiday cards at the end of the winter sales. Speaking of, I haven't bought anything SO far since I've got a lot of catch-up to play on my summer sales purchases. I don't game very heavily and due to illness this season, I had abstained from gaming since Christmas eve.

In the end, I think I'm going to go ahead and buy the two damned cards. Why not? At least then I'll have a keepsake to remind me how backwards all of 2015 was for me. Sigh.

Anyway, happy trading,
Black Hat

Half-assedly Dropping Out of School

I really admire those who are able to drop out of school without a clear-cut plan. It's like leaping off the edge of a building and somehow hoping to grab onto a lifeline out of thin air. It takes a lot of courage to do it. Forget the Mark Zuckerbergs in this world who've already forged out a path of gold in their spare time. In my barely-two years of college, I could not find the freedom I wanted to to pursue my extracurricular artistic interests. Ridiculous. I'm barely getting into over-crowded classes and just barely making the straight A cut (I had to. I was planning on transferring out and transfers absolutely have to be competent).

Tomorrow, I'm going back to my apartment to live out the rest of my lease (people are very standoffish about having roommates so I can't transfer the lease since I'm rooming with a friend) and in the meanwhile, I'm looking for a meager job locally during my half-ass dropout period. So far I haven't heard back from a single one which is good and bad news for me; good because it leaves plenty of time for me to get back on top of my creative endeavors and bad because I'm dead weight to myself while I'm not attending lectures in school or working.

I'm seeking work during my dropout period because I want structure in my life. I want a reason to get up at 8 in the morning. If its not money, then I don't know what it is. The truth is, I'd rather lie in my bed until I die. I'm not trying to shovel any emo bullshit on anyone here but I don't see a purpose in a life where I'm running a marathon and no one is cheering me from the sidelines.

I really do appreciate the financial support my family's given me but all I really wanted was some emotional support in all this and I've never received any. College is a gateway to a decent job if you make the most of it and the most of the opportunities that come ahead. I know that much. But my heart really lies with my creative work and unfortunately, my family for the most part doesn't see much significance in it. I'll isolate my father for a second here. While understanding, he tries to guilt trip me by telling me that I'm free to do whatever I want but I still need to make a living. My major source of finances is through him and he's not unreasonable enough to cut off support, but sometimes I wish I could get a black or white answer out of him.

When I say that I'm half-assedly dropping out of school,  I'm referring to the fact that there's no real risk taking in doing so, at least in my situation. I was really gung ho two months ago about dropping out forever and finally being able to pursue my passions and live on the edge with a minimum wage job. Now, I'm not so sure. School's never been as big a thorn in the back as I've made it out to be. I struggle because of my demon, my creative side that seeks attention all the time. If I could get over it, I would be able to run the full course of college and work a job that pays 100k a year in about two or three years. I'm that confidant. But I'm not worried about being poor or rich in the end. These social descriptors are so skewed and not really clearly defined. For me, dying rich is dying without no regrets and a case closed on every creative endeavor of mine and still have time for my friends and family. Now that's the ultimate happy ending to a life.

Where I will be in a month: Hopefully working several shifts in a regular ol' civilian job and working nights as an artist hopefully gaining some grounds for notoriety.

Where I will be in a year: Unfortunately, all signs point to school. I'm going back to my current University (if they are willing to take me back. I think it depends on the yearly student body size) and dropping all my creative efforts and charades assuming I've failed to bring my dreams to fruition. Even if I manage to impress myself, I still need to be reasonable and weigh my options. I need connections. I need a better job. And school still provides that small measure of guarantee for a future.

So starting tomorrow, I am a half-assed dropout desperately searching for a minimum salary job to tide over the times while I grease up my gears and get back on track with my dreams. I'm giving myself 4 months as I polish up a project I've been working on and off for the last four years of my life. I will be discussing it regularly on this blog although most of the details won't be coming out until the last quadrant when I release it. I hope anyone who latches on will follow me through this unpredictable era in my life and I hope to share in the frustration and the laughter.

Happy Struggling,
Black Hat